Just make your own cake, dammit!

I cloth diaper my daughter. I also talk about it whenever I get the chance. Why? Because cloth diapers fucking rock, that's why.

I will freely admit that my reasons for using cloth had nothing to do with it being better for the environment (at first). Nope. My reasons were 100% purely selfish. I didn't want to shell out thousands of dollars on diapers. I also knew that there are so many cute diapers available that disposables couldn't even compare fashion-wise. Hello...put a cute diaper on my baby and a matching t-shirt, and she's freaking DRESSED. What mom wouldn't love that? I also love the fluffy softness of them and figured my baby would, too...but I'll be honest here: That didn't come to mind until I actually had them in my hands and was feeling how soft they were. I'm serious. I want underwear made out of this shit.


Only as I really started researching did I pay attention to the environmental implications and the fact that they're all-around better for my daughter. In the beginning, those things were far from my mind.



So yeah, I'll tell anyone and everyone about them if I'm asked or it comes up in conversation (it does...more than you'd think). But goddammit, I'm not going to judge you if you choose to stick with disposables. Cloth was my choice as a mom. Making that choice doesn't make me any better or “crunchier” than other moms.

I'm what I term as “wannabe crunchy”. I'm only crunchy in some areas, but not enough to be considered even remotely granola. I've been sitting in a bowl of milk for awhile (We're not talking almond, rice, or hemp, either. We're talking cow tit juice). So while I might have a little bit of crunch left, I'm mostly soggy. I really am. My baby has cloth on her butt, but it's washed in Tide. I'm a big advocate of breastfeeding, but my daughter drinks formula because my tits are just for decoration and not for function (and before you ladies in the Mammary Army harp on me about that, I tried EVERYTHING and was heartbroken that I couldn't breastfeed. I rented a hospital grade pump and became a fucking dairy farm every two hours. I took herbs. I ran the gauntlet of options. It just wasn't happening. This was my fourth go-round with the same results). I'm all for natural childbirth, but had all c-sections myself. I'm against circumcision. I think it's barbaric. But, guess what! Your sons' penises are not my business. I made my decision for my sons and that's all that really matters.

In other words, I'm the last person that's going to judge another mom for doing things differently. I don't think that any mom should judge another if her children are happy, healthy, and thriving. Why we feel the need to snipe at each other with comments of “Well, we do xyz because this supposed expert in this area said that we should...and I don't know why anyone would want to do differently, but (insert throwing of hands in the air) it's your child...” with the same tone as when someone is saying “It's your funeral”.

Why do we do this? I'm no psychologist, but I tend to think that we do this because we are secretly lacking confidence in our own decisions and parenting style. If we can sit there and pick apart what other moms do and how they parent their kids, if we can try to brag and covertly force another mom to do what we do, then it solidifies it for ourselves that we're doing good. We're doing the right thing. WE'RE GOOD MOMS.

But guess what, ladies. We don't need to henpeck other women who have the very same job we do. Stepping on others isn't going to get you a promotion in this “company”. We're all doing the same job. We're all trying to raise decent human beings (those of us that actually give a shit about that stuff...because, let's face it, not all do). And the fact that we care enough to worry so much about what others are doing in order to give us an ego boost shows that we ARE all good moms.

We're all bakers, mamas. This child-raising stuff is like making a cake (whether or not it's gluten free). Some of us preheat the oven first. Some of us grease the pans first. Some of us will take out all the ingredients at once and pre-measure them. Some of us will take them out as needed and measure right there. And then, some of us will do some mix of both methods. The end result is usually the same: A damn good cake. 

So quit criticizing others on whether they use regular milk or soy butter. Make your damn cake and shut the fuck up. :)