Thursday, October 3, 2013

Quit taking shit at face value... *Warning: Some religious talk contained within*

Yeah, you heard me. I'm so sick and tired of the things floating around social media that are shared as absolutely true, but upon further inspection, are 100% false or based on half truths and blown out of proportion. At first, I found it funny. After a while, it was mildly irritating. Now, it's more like "Come the fuck ON, people. Are you fucking serious?? You could click 'share', but you couldn't type in a phrase in your preferred search engine to check the validity of this?".

I used to be a chronic liker and sharer. No back-checking to make sure what I was sharing was correct. Just "Hey, I like this" or "Hey, this is important and people need to KNOW!!". And while my intentions were good most of the time, I felt like a damned fool when I found out that half of what I shared had no basis in reality. I wanted to reverse time and take back every share and every "OMG you have to read this!!".

I come from a background where deep research was discouraged. I was fucking lied to by a publishing corporation masquerading as a cult masquerading as a religion (Figure that out...fucking Russian doll shit right there). Once I found out the truth about the so-called "Truth", I was pissed.
No. I was rip-roaring, scream till my throat was hoarse, fiercely angry. My whole life, right down to the friends I had in the congregation was a goddamn lie. We weren't allowed to research outside of Watchtower publications. If it wasn't in there, it was subject to scrutiny because only Jehovah's Witnesses (more accurately, their Governing Body) dispense REAL truth. So, when I found out I was lied to for 29 years, my first determination was "never again". I would NEVER allow myself to be fooled by anyone, be they a religion, a company, a rumor, or my own friends and family. I vowed I would research the ever-loving shit out of everything that people were asking me to believe.

That brings me to my point. If I were still so naive as to just believe and share, I would basically never leave my friggin' house for fear of everything. I would believe that the photo of god's hands parting the clouds was genuine, and not just a Photoshopped image of Goatse spreading his gaping asshole. I would believe that if someone handed me a business card, I might feel faint because it was laced with a toxin, allowing the perp to follow me home and abuse and/or rob me, even though the toxin it supposedly was laced with couldn't produce any of those results. I might think that Bill Cosby made an epic speech stating his very harsh opinion about immigrants, Muslims, and other subjects, even though it was actually former Massachusetts senator Robert A. Hall. I might not flash my lights to let another driver know his are off for fear of gang initiates following me home to kill me. I might refuse to eat baby carrots because they have a white film when they dry due to chlorine coming to the surface, not because the entire baby carrot is a cut surface and that's what happens when any carrot dehydrates. I might like and share a photo of a supposedly dying child, despite the fact that Facebook does not, nor have they ever, given money for every like and share. I might also believe the myriad of non-factual memes and blog posts going around about the President and the government shut-down.

I keep seeing this phrase everywhere over the last few days. "Wake up, people!". Yeah, how about you do that? WAKE UP. Stop letting memes and satirical blogs be your fucking news. Don't take shit at face value. Research it. Research isn't everyone's forte, and a lot of people don't like it, so they don't bother. But, really, what's more important? Clicking "like" and "share" because you're appalled/nervous/smug, or avoiding looking like a fucking ignoramus?

Take this schmuckaloid on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jehcJvMfeY4

He sees an article online that states that the President is using his own funds to open a Muslim Museum when all other National Parks and Museums are shut down. I've seen this come across my newsfeed a couple of times, so I figured I'd research it. Lo and behold, it's completely satirical. So, in an effort to talk some sense into this guy, I go right to the source. I post part of the link for the Snopes article. And what happens?






That's right. Motherfucker BLOCKED me for telling the truth. So you don't like Obama. I get it, okay. We can't all like the person who holds the Presidency. But to stifle people who are actually trying to show you that you're behaving like an ignorant dildo just so you can keep your delusions and save face in front of a group of people you've never met?? That's a whole new level of stupid/douchery.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like being the voice of reason. I don't like being that gigantic turd in the punchbowl for people who want to believe shit like this and spread it around like Herpes. I seriously don't like it. My friends will tell you, I even debunk fun stuff. Like this nugget of pure potential awesome:




When I first saw it, I wanted it to be true. I mean, I wanted it more than I wanted a Keurig two Christmases ago. How perfect would that be?? But then I noticed something odd. I've seen Cinderella a million times. I know that the Prince's wedding uniform was white. I know that Cinderella's hair is blonde. I know that Anastasia wore a red dress and had red hair in the movie. I know that Drusilla wore a green dress and had brown hair. So, I looked it up to make sure I still had all my marbles and didn't in fact lose any along the way to Grownupsville. Nope. I was right. Goddamn it. I wanted it to be true. Seriously! How awesome would that have been? But no. No such luck.

So yeah, while I might be the party pooper raining facts on your parade, I do it because I keep hoping that maybe one day, someone will actually say "Huh. Let me research this before I post it...just in case" and then save face when they find out it isn't true.

So, fair warning. If you post something, be it a meme that contains "facts", a shared email, a quote from someone famous (though, Betty White and her vagina comments are immune), if it looks or seems off to me, I will research it. And if it's not true, I will let you know. Why?

Because I don't want you to fall down the rabbit hole of stupid like everyone else. I don't want to see you in a tinfoil hat. Those don't look good on anyone.

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